Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Back at home

Lets be real for second. When your in the hospital all you want to do is get home, and when your finally home all you want is to go back to the hospital :-)

None the less, we are back at home and everyone including the dogs are coming to terms that Deacon is here for good...and we are smitten over him....and a bit sleep deprived.

Deacon is the quietest baby we have had yet. He really doesn't cry but rather snorts or whimpers. Little Man is going to have to learn to speak up if he wants to get a word in between big brother and sister. But for now, I am completely content with his soft cries.

He is a champ at sleeping during the day.

whether in the rock n' play, swing, crib, or really...


anywhere :-)

but night time is an entirely different story. He wants to be held. And not just held, but sleeping on your chest would be first preference. 




I can tell he is going to be a tummy sleeper because that is where he is most happy


EVERYONE loves to hold him, and he may or may not be the most popular person in the house 




Deacors had his first bath.

And was clearly not a fan.

And He had his first field trip to meet his Great Aunt Agnes at Gammie and Papa Bears house.




I spy a little Joshua in this pic :)

Things I don't want to forget about this first week:

1. His first reaction to Daddy singing to him....


2. How darling my firstborn has been. She wants to help in every way and my heart might explode with pride for her. She sets the table, fetches burp cloths, asks "is there anything I can do?" all the time, and just genuinely cares for me. 


And 3. This face. I know it will change in a matter of days. So I want to burn every inch of it into my heart.








Sunday, March 23, 2014

Deacon Scott Brooks

February 5, 2014

Deacon Scott's Birth Story:

Deacon was a scheduled c-section (like my other two babies) so I had this date on my calendar for months. Somehow it still crept up on me and I found myself staying up into the wee hours of the morning trying to get everything squared away for the big day. I wanted everything to be as "normal" as possible for big brother and big sister. After going to bed at a very ungodly hour, my excitement (and possibly nerves) woke me up at 4:00am. Yes I got absolutely no sleep the night before baby day and many restless nights to come.

After doing laundry, don't ask my why I thought I needed to do laundry at 4:00 am, I made the big kids breakfast and woke them up. I found myself holding back tears as I watched them go about their morning routines knowing that this would be the last time our morning would look like this. There was about to be a new normal and I hoped by God's grace that Kate and Joshua would transition smoothly. 

We then took Joshua to Papa's office (he would spend the morning with him then later a babysitter) and Kennedy Kate to preschool. I insisted on walking her inside even though Scott could have very easily done it-- I wanted it to be like old times for her. I kissed her goodbye and again my heart began to beat quickly and my eyes welled up. I knew it would be a while before I would get to walk her into school again. 

But before I could break down into full panic mode, it was off to Plano Presby...my favorite hospital and only hospital I would deliver my babies :-) 


This was the very last (and honestly prob only the 3rd ever-- third child problems) belly pic I would take of Baby Deacon. This was right after we checked in and I was about to be prepped for surgery.


After I was pumped with LOTS of fluids (hence the puffy face and squinty eyes) and many other procedures done to prep me for surgery...It was GO time!!!

Isn't he handsome! My baby daddy

They wheeled me into the O.R. and gave me my epidural. With Kate and Joshua this part always felt like such a blur and I was a bit nervous about getting the epidural. This time around I wanted to soak in everything and I was so much more relaxed. By God's divine and sweet providence, the ENTIRE staff that worked on me were the most kind, funny, spirited, and even Christ-loving (which was just a bonus) people I have ever had before. I mean seriously they took such good care of me.

People always ask whats a C section like?....well I have never birthed any other way (which is a whole other story) but I can say for me it has always been very easy and smooth. As soon as the spinal block kicks in, most of the surgery feels like your just floating down a lazy river, then there's a bit of "pressure", almost as if someone has sat on you--nothing too painful, then there is the most beautiful sound (well x3 for me) that your ears could ever hear. Deacon's soft, gentle cry was so much different than big brother and sister...it was almost like he was singing.

Then came that moment when the doctor holds (very awkwardly I might add) your baby up over the curtain so that you can see the most (again x3 for me) beautiful thing your eyes have ever seen. And my heart seems to explode with emotion. This moment is like nothing anyone has ever described nor can you possibly ever describe to someone.  So I will spare you the attempt and just say it's a miracle that only a good, loving, creative God can create.

For C-sections you don't get to immediately hold your baby. Again I have never known anything different, but a Mamma's heart knows that it should not be this way and the wait seems eternal before you can hold your precious new baby. 

To all of our surprise Deacon is blonde with very little hair. He is NOTHING like big sister and big brother :-)

And lucky Daddy got to cut his umbilical cord.


Then he is weighed: 8 pounds 12 ounces of pure cuteness.


And again Daddy got to see and touch him more....can you tell I am a bit envious?

Then they hand him to me. AND this is probably the second best moment of the day. 






With every C-section your doctor analyzes whether your body is capable of carrying another baby. I knew this moment was coming. It always follows the sweet time of snuggling your newborn for the first time, when your getting sewed back up. Scott and I had prayed about it. We felt that perhaps our family would be complete with Deacon; but nothing prepared me for the feeling I got when my doctor told me that I can't carry another child and would need to tie my tubes. I was fine with it when it was MY decision. I was a bit surprised at the tiny break I felt in my heart when that decision was made for me. I mean in that sweet newborn snuggles moment, that tiny feeling crept back inside my heart that I could do this all over again. 
But this was not God's plan for me. Deacon will be the last baby I carry inside of me. And though I can say typing this now, that there has been healing and peace in this decision; there was some time that I grieved this loss. I was not prepared for that.

Next came the moment when I was wheeled back to the recovery room, and Deacon was placed back in my arms and I got to just hold him skin to skin. 
This.moment.then.trumps.all.of.it.  
It's absolutely the best.

And after some alone time to nurse and just breathe in my new baby, they allowed family to come in.







Plus Christian who is like family :-)




Sweet boy with his grandpa and great-grandpa


four generations of Brooks'

This was the first birth that my family could not make it in for. We had decided to have them come on Friday (which he was born on a wednesday) so that my Mom could really be able to stay and help when we were back at home- plus the weather was horrible and snowy so they had to wait until then to meet Deacon. Thank goodness for iphones and facetime!

Later in the afternoon Nana and Papa brought the big kids up to meet their new brother. 


This could be my favorite picture and memory ever. Their first reaction.




Kate immediately walked in like such a big girl and sat in the chair requesting the boppy pillow to hold him. She obviously has been through this before.


My sweet Joshua was a little more hesitant. He came bounding in the room screaming my name, then froze when he saw me in the hospital bed. I will never forget the look in his eyes. He did not know what to do seeing me with all the tubes and machines. For a moment I think he even forgot that there was a new baby to see.

Then his eyes found Kate and he saw Deacon. His shoulders relaxed a bit and he took a deep breath.


He circled her entire chair.



And then finally requested a turn to hold little brother.



And Deacon passed the Joshua test. Oh be still my heart. 

Later that night I got a phone call from Scott's Mom (Nana) who was watching the kids. Sweet Kate was balling because she heard in Nana's prayer at bedtime that I was in pain. She was NOT okay with that and wanted to hear from me that I was doing good. Sweet girl has the biggest heart. So after much reassuring that I was feeling good she finally felt content to go to sleep. But I would have to reassure her of this many times over the course of my hospital stay :-)


Our first night together. I love a sleeping baby on me!


And remember I said the weather was a mess. Yah, it snowed. A lot.


But Kika (my sister) still managed to make it all the way up from San Antonio the next day and was just like with the other three the sweetest help during the night shift.

We had to stay 4 days in the hospital before I was released. This time I did not want to leave. The care and attention we got was better than the other two deliveries combined. I loved my nurses! Plus we had a lot of sweet visitors over the course of our stay. I didn't get pictures of everyone (sorry) but here were just a few:


Kate Brewer


Great Aunt Donna


Sleeping in between visitors


Julianne


And MIMI (my Mom) Yay!!! She finally arrived!


And fell in love instantly


Plus Aunt Jordana 



And of course Pepa


Many more snuggles from big sister


The Rives


And B.J.


In our few days at the hospital we learned a few things:
1. Deacon is by far our most quiet baby
2. Even though he is our third, we are still awkward, worried parents 
3. You are never prepared for the complete, utter lack of sleep you get the first few nights (even if you have done it twice before)
4. and it is possible to love a third baby just as much as the others :-)









Now is when the real fun and adventure begins....