A Good Child

Don't you just love it when you hear or read something that is just such timely wisdom?

Lately, the Lord has been letting me wrestle with parenting. And I do mean WRESTLE.

I have not felt confident. I have not felt successful. I have not felt hopeful.

It's been hard.

I have lost my temper. cried. picked myself up off the floor and gave myself a pep talk, only to fall right back into the same pattern: lost temper, crying, exhaustion, praying.

I know that the Lord is teaching me something. I know that this is for my sanctification, my daughter's good, and his glory. But it's been exhausting. It wasn't until today that I really had an ah-hah moment. Funny enough-- I am just getting off the phone with my wonderful mentor and friend, who is walking me through scripture and encouraging me in this very matter, when I stumbled upon this story from my sister's blog:

I don’t want to raise a good child

My daughter, Hope, is a senior this year. And she decided her senior year should be adventurous and a little out of the “normal” box. A lot out of the box actually.
She withdrew from traditional school. Applied with the state to homeschool. Enrolled in on-line college courses that would allow her to get both high school and college credit simultaneously. And planned to spend the month of January serving in Nicaragua doing missions.
This didn’t surprise me really. Because Hope has always liked charting her own course.
When she was really little I was scared to death I was the world’s worst mom, because Hope was never one to be contained. And I honestly thought all her extra tenacity was a sign of my poor mothering.
One day I took her to the mall to meet several of my friends with toddlers to grab lunch. All of their kids sat quietly eating cheerios in their strollers. They shined their halos and quoted Bible verses and used tissues to wipe their snot.
Not Hope.
She was infuriated by my insistence she stay in her stroller. So, when I turned away for a split second to place our lunch order, she wiggled free. She stripped off all her clothes. She ran across the food court. And jumped in the fountain in the center of the mall.
Really nothing makes the mother of a toddler feel more incapable than seeing her naked child splashing in the mall fountain. Except maybe that toddler refusing to get out and said mother having to also get into the fountain.
I cried all the way home.
Not because of what she’d done that day. But rather because of how she was everyday. So determined. So independent. So insistent.
I would beg God to show me how to raise a good child. One that stayed in her stroller. One that other people would comment about how wonderfully behaved she was. One that made me look good.
But God seemed so slow to answer those prayers. So, over the years, I changed my prayer. ”God help me to raise Hope to be who you want her to be.” Emphasis on, “God HELP ME!”
I think I changed my prayers for her because God started to change my heart. I started sensing He had a different plan in mind for my mothering of Hope.
Maybe God’s goal wasn’t for me to raise a good rule following child. God’s goal was for me to raise a God-following adult. An adult just determined and independent and insistent enough to fulfill a purpose He had in mind all along.
I don’t know what mama needs to hear this today. But let me encourage you from the bottom of my heart with 3 simple mothering perspectives you must hang on to:


1. Don’t take too much credit for their good.


2. Don’t take too much credit for their bad.


3. Don’t try to raise a good child. Raise a God-following adult.


And all the mamas of fountain dancing children said, “Amen!”

Amen indeed!

I have one of those fountain dancing children, and I LOVE my fountain dancing girl for all the reasons that make her one. Sometimes I need to remember that.

Lord, forgive me for wanting to just have a "good child" not a God-following child!

It is so hard to not look at parenting as a means to an end = dicipline your child so they will do good and you will be happier.

My greatest calling as a mother is to minister to these children that God gave me.

My prayer for this season is to not lose sight of the reason I am disciplining, to find joy in the way God made my children, and to not define myself (or my parenting skills) by how "good" or "bad" my children behave.

Word for the Year

Well it's a new year. Almost a month into the new year to be exact. 

It seems that this first month has flown by, and yet much has happend in my life and heart.

At the close of every year I always feel so grateful and yet so undeserving of what the Lord has given to me. This year was no different.

As the New Year commenced, I enjoyed reading everyone's Word for the Year and have spent some time thinking about what my word for the year is going to be. In fact, I have spent so much time it is already 25 days into the new year. Better late than never, I guess ;-)

My word for the year is TRUTH.

Yes, truth.

I picked truth or rather I should say it picked me for a several reasons:

As I read other people's W.F.T.Y. I felt inspired to pick my own. I had never done this before and thought it was so neat to have a word to focus on for a year. I wanted to pick words like grace, joy, or even thankful. But none of those words seemed to fit. I even tried to be original and pick a word in another language.

But nothing seemed right. So I moved on, thinking maybe next year I will pick a word.

Today as I was doing dishes, my mind wondered back to picking a word and truth popped in my head. It sounds strange, and at first I dismissed it, but then as my children napped I decided to think more on the word truth.

Truth in the dictionary says "the true or actual state of matter". If you wikipedia (and yes I did) the word truth, it says that truth has a variety of meanings, such as the state of being in accord with fact or reality. It can also mean having fidelity to an original or to a standard or ideal. In a common usage, it also means constancy or sincerity in action or character. In the old testament, the root of the Hebrew word  for truth is 'aman', with faith or faithfulness being common translations. In the new testament, the Greek word for truth is alethia, meaning 'not hidden'.Truth is the real state of affairs. Truth is the real picture of God, man and the world.

Wow, that's weighty.

So I decided to look at scriptures with the word truth. These were just a few of my favorites.... 

"and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32

"because of the truth that abides in us and will be with us forever" 2 John 1:2

"Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long." Psalm 25:5

"Furthermore, you shall select out of all the people able men who fear God, men of truth, those who hate dishonest gain; and you shall place these over them, as leaders of thousands, of hundreds, of fifties and of tens."Exodus 18:21

"love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth." 1 Corinthians 13:6

"therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another" Ephesians 4:25

I began to see something beautiful. In reflecting on last year and anticipating all that will be this year, I found the word truth to be perfect for me. You see truth is having a right picture of God. Truth is having a right picture of myself. Truth is having a right understanding of the world around me. Truth is not hiding from God, but living in the light of his word. Truth is faithfulness. Truth is authentic, real, and constant in character. Truth will set me free (John 8:32).

 

This past year has been a big year for me and my family. There has been change, growth, joy, challenges, triumph, and yes, even disapintment. Through it all, we have found the Lord to remain the same. He is faithful. He is good. He loves us despite all of our shortcomings. And he has covered us with his grace and mercy.

I can't help but look introspectively into my life at the end of every year and the beginning of a new one. I have learned that it is pure joy to watch my children grow. I have learned that it is also challenging to discipline them and stay constant in contending for the gospel in their hard hearts. I have learned that walking with a close group of women is essential for me to grow in my walk and to challenge me. God has brought some UH-Mazing women to walk with and I am eternally grateful. I have learned that forgiveness is hard, costly, and sometimes the only way to move on. That loving and showing grace to people who hurt you is only possible when sitting under the fountain of the grace given to us from our Father. I have learned that stepping out in faith is possible when you look back and see the consistency of His faithfulness throughout your life. I have learned that God moves regardless of the capabilities of the person he is working through. I have learned that I was created by God, for God, and my joy and triumph is found only in Him and for his glory.
 

This year as I grow in my sanctification, as I parent my children, as I love my husband, as I walk in community with those around me, I want to dwell on truth. I don't want to be discouraged by the lies this world tells me. I don't want to find my identity and hope in that which the world finds it. I don't want to be misled by the untrue thoughts of my sinful, wondering heart and the emotions that can flow from it. I want to think and define my perspective on life based on truth.

 

"finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Phillipians 4:8

Christmas 2011

This year we had a very full month of December.

My children are growing so fast and the excitement and joy of all the holiday activities is mulitiplied twice over. I love the age they are at. I love that Kate memorized the advent book and wrote songs and plays about baby Jesus. I loved hearing "ooo" and "ahhhh" everytime Joshua saw a twinkling light.

We spent time making precious memories that will forever be engraved in my heart, and hopefully my children will always remember that the reason we can have joy is because of our savior, Jesus. I pray that they will not only remember the traditions that spark wonder and excitement, but also anticipate and yearn for the second coming of our King.

So here's a taste and what we have been up to the month of December:

We made gingerbread houses at our Nana's

And had our annual polar express movie night

Complete with a toasty fire

Hot chocolate, marshmellows, and candy!

Litte bit fell asleep on her daddy (be still my heart)

We ice skated at the Galleria



And visited Bass pro shop

We saw Santa...

except we thought he was somewhat creepy, so we saw another one....

And another one :) while out looking at christmas lights

We visited the Gaylord to see all their christmas decor and attempted some family pics...(major fail)

And we visited downtown grapevine (so cute) to ride the polar express and soak in a little small town christmas



Then it was Christmas eve...

And as the precious kids slept, Daddy and Uncle A.J. became architects of a major railroad...



Christmas morning started with the best present of all....two sugarplums sleeping past 8:00 :o)

We read the story of christ's birth

and these two were just too cute and snuggly to pass up a picture op

Then it was off to Nana and Papa's for some christmas lunch

And these two crazy girls got cars...and they are out.of.control :)

Not sure what I am going to do when they are 16!!

And if your wondering if I am tired. YES :).

Somewhere in between we visited the doctor 7 times these last 3 1/2 weeks, 4 of which was for me. Hopefully after a little procedure on wednesday for my ear, I will be 100% back to normal and life can resume to...well...somewhat normalcy.

It was a December to remember.

Ending with time with my parents visiting and home projects stirring--I know I can't stop!

Hope you and yours had a merry christmas too!